In England…

…cars warn you that if you put short people in a backwards capital L in the front seat, the air bag may deploy and turn the person red as they are sent flying through the air because apparently backwards letter Ls contain no restraints.

After this happens, you are required to read a book about the alphabet from the last page about the letter ‘h’ through to the first page about the letter ‘i’. Presumably this is so you can spell, “Hi, sorry we made you all red and airborne.”

Although you’d think they’d also require you to get through to the letter ‘l’ to see how to properly install your person-containing letters. That’s government cutbacks for you.

airbag warning

This needs a speech balloon that says, “WAHHH!” But of course, not “WHOAH!” because that’d be just wrong.

In England…

…houses are so small that one Playmobil figure takes up an entire window.

giant playmobil figure in window

They warn you when coming over from North America to expect smaller houses, but you’re never fully prepared for the scale.

giant playmobil figure in window

Don’t blink…it’s opening the window a bit more every time you do.

playmobil figure in window on street

See? Brits live in tiny little dollhouses. Totes legit.

In England…Horses Get Traffic Lights

I’ve been very busy with travels and a small cake competition entry for the last week or so, so I haven’t had time to finish any of the lengthy posts I’ve started writing for this blog.

I have, however, been amassing a collection of odd/funny things I see as we travel around, so I’m starting a series of quick posts called “In England…” in which I will share these photos, sometimes deliberately misinterpreted for comedic effect, or sometimes posted as-is for general amusement. Usually a mixture of both.

Here are some pedestrian crossing signals near the Wellington Arch in London. Note the absence of an actual human pedestrian…

red horse light


green horse light

Giddyap! Also: self-driving bicycles. All humans must be mounted on horses, as shown in The Brochure. Centaurs allowed with appropriate licensing.