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Juice Pigs Trivia - Text Version
All questions refer to the albums as released in Canada, unless otherwise specified. Click on the number beside the question to go to the answer. Click on the number beside the answer to return to the question. Keep score on a scrap piece of paper, scoring one potin for every correct answer.
Raw Pork (easy questions)
1. Who lives down by the furnace?2. Whom did dolphins eventually nibble the pieces of?
3. Who doesn't like it when you smoke?
4. What animal could we have small couches made of?
5. Where is the Canadian game show host going?
6. What's the insult thrown at torsoless tots at swimming lessons?
7. Who was used as a skateboard?
8. What wish is made on the Northern Lights?
9. "I go seal hunting with my best friend _____"
10. Where does the psychopathic killer find the knife?
11. What brand of bathing suit does the psychopathic killer wear?
12. What Canadian rocker is parodied in the song Janitor?
13. "I'd like to take you out to the barn and" what?
14. Whose song is covered by the Buddhist Monk Singers?
15. What do the truckers like?
16. When is it easy to reach Nirvana, according to the song Love Affair?
17. What might prevent the singer in When the Moon from being in the glen, softly singing?
18. Who was "especially" slain by Captain Greg?
19. What word does the boy in Suzanne as for a definition of?
20. What instrument did the uncle in Suzanne think he was?
21. What lines does M.C. Kielbasa sing?
22. Who never made much money, according to Circus Freaks?
23. True or false: the singer will give up meat for Enviro-Girl.
24.Who goes to The Church?
25. What did he dance naked with in Christmas Dreams?
26. Who designed the French Cowboys' chaps?
27. What floor does the singer say he lives on in REMember?
28. What was the Hot Squat Hombre's name?
29. What major network television show has the group made many appearances on?
30.What is the Janitor's name?
Nicely Cooked (medium questions)
1. What size pants were bought from the corner store?2. What unusual pair of features does the car in Gameshow 1 have?
3. Who spits acid, pukes fire, and gives good horn?
4. What is the address for the P.S.A.s?
5. Which of the following is NOT named as a trick in Skateboard: Alley-Hop, Addle-Flop, Acid-Drop.
6. What two body parts were bloodshot in Concierge?
7. "And I looked at him like he was 18 kilograms of shit in a _______"
8. In what movie is it said that Ernest Borgnine played The Incredible Flying Worm?
9. Who does Sean say is making him laugh during the second P.S.A.?
10. Where is the coat in Gameshow 2 from?
11. What is tattooed on the trucker's stomach?
12. What's the prize for winning the Who's Got the Greasiest Baseball Cap Competition?
13. What are the two sides of the Debut Album named (on the tape)?
14. What does the Debut Album tape insert say you will hear if you play it backwards?
15. What type of vegetable is smashed in the video for REMember?
16. Why did Captain Greg kill the Spaniards?
17. Where do the truckers realize they'll come to a stop when the truck is speeding out of control?
18. Who, according to Rok Stedy, is the finest cheesemaker in the world?
19. What is taped to the eyelids of the gull in Suzanne?
20. What does the noise deep in his bowls remind the singer of in Suzanne and why?
21. Who are pants like and what can they do?
22. What does the singer order in Diet Riot?
23. What European country is included in Picnic Party?
24. Who can come to the picnic party if they bring their beach umbrella?
25. Where did the singer first see the midget love slave?
Burnt (hard questions)
1. To whom is the Debut Album dedicated in memory?2. There is a Canadian Ministry noted in the bottom corner of the Pants album. Which Ministry is it?
3. What kind of fly did Curly's pants have?
4. Who also likes blubber?
5. What was rubbed provocatively against the Concierge's cheeks?
6. What is Corky's Legion made of?
7. Who "roks for his design wizardry?"
8. What does a woman in the audience say during Concierge when he gets to the hotel?
9. What is missing from the screaming out of the phone digits in the last part of 666-6666?
10. How many times does the pink pignose symbol appear on the Pants CD and casing?
11.What three heights are the chickens stacked to in Truckers?
12.Who is the DJ on Hook 97 FM?
13. What are the three things named that pandas can't do?
14. What four things are portrayed in small scenes in Americans?
15. What three things did she do in the theatre that indicated she had rabies?
16. Who provided the "Siren Vocals" in Dolphin Boy?
17.In what Maine city was the group photographed doing a spoof on the Solid Gold Dancers "in order to gather evidence proving that the troupe engaged in illegal pronographic acts," according to the Toronto Star?
18. Also according to the Toronto Star, when and where was the group formed?
19. What was the name of the group member that Greg Neale replaced in 1989?
20. What is odd about the singer's residence in REMember?
Answers
Raw Pork
1. Janitor2. Dolphin Boy
3. Burn Victim Girl
4. Little ocelots
5. Downtown Hamilton
6. Hey Starfish-Baby, Starfish-Baby
7. Grandma
8. To find a decent pair of whaleskin tights
9. Tarka
10. In your back
11. Speedo
12. Neil Young
13. Beat you with a manure-caked stick
14. Tina Turner
15. Beer and broads and bowling
16. When you're eating this [East Indian] food
17. If he's been kidnapped by the IRA again
18. The girls
19. Pune
20. A tuba
21. I'm a sausage, I'm a sausage, I'm a spicy Eastern European sausage baby
22. The bearded man
23. False - he just won't eat it in front of her
24. Well-endowed men
25. The turkey
26. Yves St. Laurent
27. The eighth
28. Andrew
29. MAD TV
30. Tony
Nicely Cooked
1. 412. It's a convertible hatchback
3. The daughter of the beast
4. 228 Avenue of the Americas, New York, New York
5. Addle-Flop
6. Eyes and legs
7. Thimble
8. Steve's Trip to the Oasis
9. Greg
10. Sears
11. The South with rise again
12. A big slap in the face with an old hunk of cheese
13. Side of Pork and Side of Beef
14. Hidden pork recipies
15. A pumpkin
16. They all had black hats on
17. Mabel's Coffee Hut, at the bottom of the pass
18. Ernest Borgnine
19. Tiny, razor-sharp onions
20. Christmas trees, because it was so green
21. Pants are like Jesus, they can cure all known diseases
22. The double seafood platter
23. Scotland
24. Nelson and Winnie Mandela
25. In a porno production of the Seven Dwarfs
Burnt
1. Daniel P. Kelly2. Canadian Heritage
3. Button fly
4. Nukflukchukbuk
5. A putty knife
6. Gravel
7. Jason
8. "Oh! This is Concierge!"
9. One of the sixes ('6' is only said six times)
10. Three (once on the cover, twice on the jewelbox spine)
11. 20 feet, 85 feet, 2 miles
12. Shaggy Peebles
13. Wear t-shirts, bounce basketballs, walk tightropes over Niagra Falls
14.American diplomacy, economics, foreign policy, and the settlement of the US
15.She chewed the seats, her mouth was foaming, and her hair needed combing
16. Katherine Wheatley
17. Farmington
18.1987 at the University of Windsor
19. Joe Costa
20. It's an 8-storey house (at least), and the resident (the singer) only lives on the 8th floor
Scoring
75 - Piggy Perfection
You are a divine entity, deserving of worship from the unenlightened hordes around you. If you
really put your mind to it, you could probably fly.** You can adeptly prepare any pork dish with
little fat and a great deal of flavour.
60-74 - Porker
You must be a fan of the band, or have paid a lot of attention to this website! Either way, that
makes you exceptionally cool. You are undoubtedly very desireable to the gender of your
choice, and have few if any problems with your armpit hair. Small dogs will avoid piddling on
your shoes, and you can cook a delicious ham.
35-59 - Squealer
Not bad, not bad! You are obviously at least functionally literate, and demonstrate good
taste...to an extent. You can make bacon, but have never been able to prepare an entire pork
roast. Spend more time in your pune, eat pork at least twice a week, and visit this website more
often.
15-34 - Piglet
So you've heard of them, or have lightly perused the website. Maybe caught an act or two on
MAD TV. Now it's time to go buy the albums and brush up on your Corkiness! You have heard
of bacon, and can identify its smell when it's being cooked 6 out of 10 times.
0-14 - Janitor
Tsk tsk tsk. You didn't study, did you? You think pork comes from cantaloupes. Spend less
time masturbating in the gym, and more time paying attention to Corky and the Juice Pigs!
Trust me...you'll have better eyesight if you do, and you won't have hairy palms sticking to your
buffomatic floor waxing thing anymore.
** WARNING: DO NOT ATTEMPT TO FLY. Not just because it'd be unsafe, but if your Juice Pig self managed to do it, the sight of pigs flying might allow endless impossibilites to occur, thus disrupting the very fabric of the universe. So for the good of humanity (not to mention the sucker parked under your window), please DO NOT ATTEMPT TO FLY. Thank you.
Page last updated in July, 2004.
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