"PSA" by Corky and the Juice Pigs

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P.S.A. - Debut Album

FIRST

Hello everyone. My name is Gary Coleman. And a lot of you remember me as that little black kid on Diff'rent Strokes. But there's another darker side of me that a lot of you don't know about. And that's the fact that I was born without a torso. That's right! And millions of children are born without torsos every year, and the number is growing.

Imagine the horror of being taunted in the schoolyard: "Hey where d'ya keep your nipples? In your pockets?"

Imagine the horror of being carried home from rugby practise in a netbag.

Imagine the horror of being taunted at swimming lessons: "Hey Starfish Baby! Starfish Baby!"

Yes, the pain is real. The horror is real. But the hope is also real. Please give generously to: Torsos for Tots. A non-profit organization that helps these trunkless youngsters reach out and not have their arm fall through their t-shirt hole. Please give generously to:

Torsos for Tots
228 Avenue of the Americas
New York, New York

Because somewhere there's a kid with nothing in his shirt but a dream.

SECOND

Hello, my name's Ernest Borgnine. And a lot of you remember me as The Incredible Flying Worm in Steve's Trip to the Oasis. But there's another darker side of me that a lot of you don't know about. And that's the fact that I -

Did you say Ernest Borgnine?

Yes.

He's on the tape already.

Oh, allright...

Sorry...P.S.A. number two...

Hello, name's Kate Capshaw. And alot of you remember me as that little black kid on Diff'rent Strokes. But there's another darker side of me that a lot of you don't know about. And that's the fact that...[laughter]...Greg's making me laugh!

Do you know, is Kate Capshaw known in other countries?

[laughter]

Allright, let's do another one, let's go.

I should leave the room.

P.S.A....no don't...P.S.A.

Hello, my name is Earl the Incredible Squirrel. [laughter] I'm sorry...

[laughter]

That's a keeper.

THIRD

Hello, my name's Clint Eastwood. And alot of you remember me as that little black kid on Diff'rent Strokes. But there's another darker side of me that a lot of you don't know about. And that's the fact that I have two huge columns of cheese for legs. That's right...and millions of children are born with cheddar legs every year, and the number is growing.

Imagine the horror of sliding into second base and making a lovely taco melt.

Imagine the horror of being taunted in the schoolyard: "Hey, we oughta cube ya and make little things with flags stick into ya."

Imagine the horror of being held down in the schoolyard and grated.

Yes, the pain is real. The horror is real, but the hope is also real. Please give generously to: Slice Me Off a Chunk, Huh? A non-profit organization that helps these kids reach out and give, and take, and love, and live without being melted onto a patty of meat. Please, give generously to:

Slice Me Off a Chunk, Huh?
228 Avenue of the Americas
New York, New York

Because somewhere, there's a kid who's curdling, with a dream.

Page last updated in July, 2004.

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