KaCee's Place FAQ

Version 5 - last updated March 2001

  1. What is KaCee's Place?
    1. OUR SLOGAN!
    2. On alcohol...
    3. On sex and other bar-related things...
  2. Who is KaCee?
  3. How long has KaCee's been around?
    1. IRC
    2. Usenet
  4. What is inappropriate to post to KaCee's?
  5. What should I do when someone makes an inappropriate post?
    1. Repeat Offenders
    2. About Spam
  6. What should I do if someone from KaCee's is harassing me?
  7. What should I do if I think KaCee's sucks?
  8. What will happen if I flame or troll KaCee, KaCee's Place, or patrons of KaCee's place?
  9. Does KaCee's place have a homepage?
  10. I'm a new user and I need some help...
  11. Stuff to do in KaCee's Place.
    1. KaCee's Soapbox
    2. Balderdash
    3. Speciality Drinks
  12. What is rhod?
  13. Who are these respectably dressed waitresses, and why no waiters?
  14. Can I get a cyberjob at KaCee's?
  15. Troubleshooting
  16. What if my question isn't answered in this FAQ?

  1. What is KaCee's Place?

    KaCee's Place is a cyberbar on the Internet. It is accessible through usenet - the location of Internet newsgroups. You can find KaCee's Place at alt.pub.kacees. If your newsserver does not carry KaCee's Place, ask your news administrator (most likely found at news@your.site or office@your.site) or check out web services like Google's Groups.

    KaCee's Place is a friendly, open environment where you can discuss pretty much anything. Wander in and tell us about your bad day, or something amusing that happened to you. Drop by to read the frequent humour posts made to the group. Or just pull up a stool, order a drink, and join in one of the ongoing bar conversations!

    1. OUR SLOGAN!

      Welcome to KaCee's...the cyberbar where the waitresses are fully dressed and respectable, the drinks are free, and always served with a smile and a hug.

    2. On alcohol...

      KaCee's Place only serves cyberbooze...in other words, it's not real and shouldn't be taken as such. KaCee herself has actually never even sampled a drop of alcohol, and in no way condones the misuse of alcohol in any fashion.

      Alcoholism is a serious disease. If you know an alcoholic, do them, yourself, and anyone using the same roads they do a favour and contact your local addiction support centre for information on what to do to help.

      KaCee's Place does not ask minors on the Internet to prove age before entering the newsgroup or before 'serving' them cyberbooze. Parents are requested to monitor their child's Internet access, and KaCee is not responsible for any influential material posted in this newsgroup.

    3. On sex and other bar-related things...

      There will be no censorship of adult issues in KaCee's Place. It is, after all, a cyberbar, and thus carries with it a level of adult humour that may be inappropriate for younger people. That is for parents to decide...not KaCee, and she won't censor her patrons.

      On the other hand, there is such a thing as taste. Since KaCee is Canadian and now lives in the US, her judgements on taste will be based on current Canadian and US laws regarding racism, sexism, etc. Of course, people outside Canada are not legally subject to these guidelines, but any post that is hate based, promotes racist, sexist, or other legally offensive material will be treated as a troll/flame and dealt with accordingly.

      For example, posts promoting white supremacy, child pornography, and sexual harassment or assault will not be tolerated.

  2. Who is KaCee?

    KaCee is the nickname of Kimberly Chapman. KaCee is pronounced but NEVER spelled Kay-See. It is a phonetic representation of her initials, and as such, KaCee does not like to be referred to as KaCee Chapman. KaCee, Kim, Kimberly, or Ms Chapman are all suitable names by which to refer to her. She is NOT Mrs. Webster, and deeply resents the assumption that she would change her name upon marriage.

    She is 28 years old, and a university graduate of Carleton University in Ottawa (double major: Journalism and Anthropology). She has been active on the Internet since February, 1994. You can reach KaCee through the pub or by emailing kacee@journalist.com. Her homepage is located at: kimberlychapman.com

    KaCee is happily married to Corran Webster. Please do not email or post to KaCee saying that you are in love with her...she finds that stressful to deal with, and she's taken anyway. Just because a female is nice to you, doesn't mean she's in love with you or even necessarily worthy of your own desires. This isn't meant to sound arrogant, but rather a response to a particular problem that tends to arise now and then.

  3. How long has KaCee's been around?

    KaCee's Place was not always a usenet bar. When KaCee first got a freenet account in February 1994, she discovered IRC and would spend many a late night chatting there. Eventually she started creating her own channel called KaCees. The bar concept was inspired by an IRC friend Quark who operated a cyberbar much like Quark from the television show Deep Space 9. KaCee's affectionate attitude combined with this cyberbar notion to create what became known as 'the snuggliest bar in town.'

    Once KaCee realized, however, that staying up until dawn every night was not conducive to good study habits, she was forced to abandon nightly IRC activity. It was then that she discovered usenet, in particular a newsgroup called alt.cuddle, which she has since left in order to form the usenet version of her old IRC bar. Don't ask KaCee about alt.cuddle unless you want to hear some pretty bitter stuff.

  4. What is inappropriate to post to KaCee's?


    It is inappropriate to post flames, trolls, and non-related advertisements to alt.pub.kacees. Flames are insults directed at one or more members of the group, or any other sort of nasty messages such as racist, sexist, homophobic or other prejudiced material. Hate literature will not be tolerated. Legally offensive material, such as incitement to violence, hate literature, or other criminal messages will result in immediate contact with proper authorities.

    Trolls are posts designated to start arguments or flame wars, such as 'this group sucks' type of posts. There is a difference between a troll and a debate. A debate is a mutually respectable discussion that may harbour disagreement, but not personal resentment or nastiness. When a debate declines into immature mudslinging, it has become a troll or flamewar.

    There is also a difference between real trolling and flaming and just teasing a friend that you know well enough to do so. If you're not sure if a comment is appropriate, either don't make it, or at least say that you're not meaning to be offensive.

    Bringing silly disputes from other newsgroups over to the pub in hopes of starting a similar argument or gathering support for one side or another is also a troll, and will be ignored.

    Advertisements are also not acceptable, and will usually either be ignored or reported to spam busters, sometimes with an additional complaint going to the postmaster of the poster. This is not to say that products, films, etc cannot be discussed. The difference lies in whether or not the person making the commentary stands to gain financially from the post, and is not making the post for a reason other than advertisement purposes. There's a pretty obvious distinction between patrons posting commercial information and spam advertising.

    Regular pub patrons are always free, however, to post recommendations of products or services they like. Regular patrons may also let us all know about their personal websites and any new additions there. If you're a newbie and want us to come visit your website, you'd be best to spend some time chatting first, or else your message inviting people to your site will be considered spam.

  5. What should I do when someone makes an inappropriate (but not spam) post?

    I respect and appreciate good people's intention to help in such matters, but from experience I have learned that it is best to not have a group of people rushing to act. For this reason, I ask that you allow me (KaCee) to deal with offensive posts. Please do NOT email people who've made such posts because it may destroy a diplomatic move I have already made myself. It might also incite flamewars or floods, which makes life annoying for everyone in the pub.

    The only exception to this is if you are personally flamed. I'm here to help, but naturally would respect your wish to deal with such a thing on your own. If I am unaware that something posted has offended you, feel free to email me if you wish.

    IMPORTANT: if you feel you have been flamed by someone else from apk and it makes you want to leave permanently, PLEASE email me so that the situation can be rectified without anguish. Often people do not mean to flame or hurt, and a calm discussion can avert long-term hard feelings.

    1. Repeat Offenders

      There are a few individuals and groups who, from time to time, return to the pub to cause trouble. Some are just pathetic, immature people looking for attention. Some feel that they have just cause to launch attacks on KaCee or the group as a whole. Some are just punks looking to get a cheap laugh.

      Regardless of the motivations, these repeat offenders surface now and again to either crosspost cascades (posts that usually just say fuck and are followed up by the same, creating an endless list of the word), other non-related posts, or perhaps to follow-up a legitimate post with thinly disguised flames in an effort to create trouble and attract attention.

      The best way to get rid of such twits is to IGNORE THEM COMPLETELY. A single reply, in email or by post, is usually enough to prod them into doing more. You're giving them the attention they crave - and no amount of reason or pleading will get these people to behave. Emailing their postmasters usually does no good - as either they ensure their posts are innocuous enough to not get in trouble, or they are their own postmasters (i.e. lonely pathetic sysadmins with nothing better to do with their time but to pretend they have some kind of power by trolling).

      If one of these people starts flaming in the group and it really bugs you, the best way to handle it is to ignore them. If you simply can't, I suggest emailing the TARGET of the flame to say that you know it's a flame and that you still support the person and such. That can also help when a target of flames starts to feel despondent.

      KaCee is well acquainted with the names of these repeat offenders. They will not be listed publicly, because obviously that will draw them out. If you need to know who these people are, you can email KaCee and ask.

    2. If the post is spam, feel free to ignore it or report it as you desire. Reporting it does little good, but it makes some people feel better.

  6. What should I do if someone from KaCee's is harassing me?

    This is a very serious matter. The bar environment is likely to attract some seedy individuals who may find a perverse pleasure in harassing guests of apk. This harassment may come in the form of sexually explicit or violent email, or perhaps in the milder form of a come-on that won't go away.

    I have experienced such harassment first hand on a number of occasions, in varying ways and degrees. I am here to assist anyone who feels harassed in any way.

    Sometimes seemingly nice people start to seem not-so-nice anymore. The harassment might not even be clear, but more of a feeling of being approached in an unsuitable way.

    While I do not subscribe to widespread victim theory (i.e. that because you're a woman any man who talks to you must be on the make, or because you're a certain race that any comment on race must be a flame to you), I do know that harassment can be subtle and pervasive. Harassers are not welcome in apk, so if you are being harassed, please let me know so that something might be done.

    KaCee fully supports the public outing of sexual harassers and offenders, so that others may be warned before having to suffer first and learn later. If that outing makes some people feel uncomfortable, that's an unfortunate side effect but not dire enough to warrant sweeping these issues under the carpet.

  7. What should I do if I think KaCee's sucks?

    You have every right to think so. Just don't post it here. It's a troll, and will be ignored, and what fun is that? It's very easy...just don't read the group if you don't like it.

  8. What will happen if I flame or troll KaCee, KaCee's Place, or patrons of KaCee's place?

    A single flame or troll, if it's harmless, will probably be ignored. Several flames/trolls or severe ones will result in your postmaster being notified via email of the offence. Since postmasters generally dislike being bothered by such things, they tend to react rather nastily against offenders. Depending on your history with your provider, you could get anything from a slap on the wrist to removal of your account. If you're someone who is their own postmaster or have some other equivalent immunity, probably nothing will happen to you. But you knew that already.

  9. Does KaCee's place have a homepage?

    Yes...it's at: http://kimberlychapman.com/pub/pub.html

  10. I'm a new user and I need some help...

    No problem! Alt.pub.kacees is VERY newbie friendly. Feel free to ask any question you have about usenet or whatever. There are all sorts of friendly, knowledgeable people in the bar who I'm sure would be glad to help. Mind you, that's no guarantee we'll have the answer you need. But someone will probably be able to at least point you towards someone on your system who will know what to do.

  11. Stuff to do in KaCee's Place.

    Well, if you want, you can lurk. That's when you read and don't post. Posting is ever so much more fun, though. You can post any humourous articles you come across. You can start a cross discussion with another newsgroup, although please note that crossposting irrelevant or inappropriate material is going to cause problems. Also, crossposting to many newsgroups at once or to high-volume newsgroups might flood KaCee's with a lot of unwanted posts, so please don't crosspost without a really good reason.

    You can start question threads...that's always fun. Tell a story or ask a question and invite other people to share similar stories or aspects of themselves. Ask everyone what they think of such and such, or what their favourite whatever is. That's what builds a good community within a newsgroup...getting to know each other in friendly, open ways.

    1. KaCee's Soapbox

      If you have a gripe, which most of us do at one time or another, you can step up onto KaCee's Soapbox and have your say. Again, please follow rules of taste for your posting... ranting and raving is perfectly acceptable, as long as it doesn't lead to racist, sexist, or other offensive posts. Swearing is acceptable when necessary, but please use moderation. Gratuitous swearing only makes you look ignorant and lacking in vocabulary.

      You are invited to expound upon any subject on the soapbox. Got a gripe with your elected officials? Want to spout off about your lousy job? Go for it. KaCee does, often!

      Just make sure that you're going to be able to deal with people taking up your post for discussion...and ready to apologize should you inadvertently but genuinely offend someone. Don't worry, flaming your ideas won't be tolerated, but disagreement may occur and won't be censored. If you are too sensitive about your ideas to allow refutation and discussion, it's best to keep them to yourself. Besides, if you're that sensitive about them, maybe they're not strong enough ideas to be held to begin with...

      The truest test of your faith in any notion is whether or not you can happily, easily, maturely, and without fear discuss and defend that notion.

    2. Balderdash

      There used to be more games in the pub, such as Trivial Pursuit and lateral puzzles, but these have fallen by the wayside. If someone wants to start them up again, let KaCee know, or post about it to the pub.

      Balderdash is based in the pub but is run largely by email. Thus if you have problems seeing posts in the pub but want to play, it's no problem. If you have friends that want to play but don't have access to the pub, get them to email KaCee and they can easily be added to the mailing list.

      The game has a website with more information: http://kimberlychapman.com/pub/balderdash.html

    3. Speciality Drinks

      KaCee's Place exists in cyberspace. That means KaCee can quickly go to anywhere in the universe to get the ingredients for a drink you want. Occasionally, KaCee experiments with alcohol...a dangerous pastime, given that she's never tasted any of it and really has no clue. But now and then she comes up with something people seem to like.

      Feel free to request any drink or new combination you like. If KaCee doesn't know how to make it, simply tell her! And since all the drinks are free, it can't hurt to experiment!

      Here are the speciality drinks KaCee has invented (or stolen from TV shows and books) thusfar:

      vodka martini, dry, shaken, not stirred.

      LOTS of sugar mixed into a seltzer base with added Prozac and Xanax. Comes with a chewable lemon-flavoured Maalox tablet on the side of the glass (as opposed to an acidic real lemon). Ideal for patrons who are at the end of their rope.

      Molson's Canadian beer mixed into maple syrup and crushed ice...a sticky sweet boozy slushie.

      Hot fudge cocoa mixed with Irish cream and served with whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles floating on top.

      semi-organic nutrient suspension in a silicone-based liquid medium to lubricate your biofunctions. Best if you're an android.

      Flaming Homer
      various alcohols mixed together with children's cough syrup, then set on fire.

      Hot Healer
      Red Rose tea with honey and a dash of brandy. Excellent for sore throats.

      Named for KaCee's friend Olmur, this drink is basically a bottle of 53 year old Bunnahabhain whisky.

      Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster
      Three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin melted into a bottle Ol' Janx Spirit mixed with Santraginean V sea water, Qualactin Hypermint extract, and a tooth of and Algolian Suntiger, bubbled through with four litres of Fallian marsh gas and sprinkled with Zamphour. NOTE: the effect of this drink has been likened to having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick. For that reason, every Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster comes with your choice of a bottle of Tylenol or Dr. Kevorkian's phone number.
  12. What is rhod?

    RHOD is an acronym for rec.humor.oracle.d. It's another newsgroup. It's funny but far from newbie-friendly, so don't go there unless you know what you're doing. That group is supposedly to discuss the Internet Oracle, but it's a rarity that the Oracle is ever actually discussed, and the group makes it a habit to be off-topic.

    The denizens of rhod are often referred to as rhodites, or occasionally rhodents. The group is rife with long-term in-jokes. Since many kindly rhodites have come over to the pub, sometimes these in-jokes come appear in the pub, and it might be hard to figure out what they mean. Rhodites are kindly asked to please either refrain from using in-jokes, or be willing to explain them if you do use them.

    Some injokes that have been explained...

    Sometimes someone will shout keyboard after someone else has said something funny. This came out of the notion that posting funny stuff causes people who are foolishly drinking as they read to spew out their beverage all over their keyboard. In rhod, the joke for a long time was "you owe me a keyboard," and that meant, "that was so funny I spewed all over my keyboard." That has since been shortened to just "KEYBOARD!" or similar exclamations.

    A big discussion was had in rhod about "French fries," since a certain Belgian was very insistent that fries, or Frieten (or is that Freiten?) were, he says, invented in Belgium. And supposedly ought to be served with mayonnaise. Suffice to say mentioning fries is a friendly invocation of a Belgium-vs-the world debate...or food fight, it would seem. :)

    A show featuring an Australian naturalist (referred to in rhod as "Steve the Loony") often shows spiders and snakes. Parodying the guy's accent, the words are typed as SNIKE and SPIDAH, and frequently these are of the deadly, or DIDDLY, variety.

    An acronym for bright red Siamese fighting fish. Long story short, a couple of rhodites have some for real, others pretend to.

    A term from the alt.tasteless FAQ...(http://www.contrib.andrew.cmu.edu/~jp45/faq.html) ...involving some pretty gross stuff. You'll just have to go read it yourself.


    Well, these aren't really an in-joke, and certainly not limited to rhod, but basically, some people have adopted the practise of putting a footnote[1] like that into a sentence to expand on part of the sentence later on...

    [1] This, of course, would be an example.

    ^H and ^W
    ^H means backspace one, ^W means delete the last word. Hence, the sentence "I really love^H^H^Hike you" would be a deliberate joke way to say "I really like you," as would "I really love^Wlike you."

    Dumpcarat, piercings, and the human BBQ (possibly with oregano)
    Long stories. Quick version: a guy in rhod who has several parts of his body pierced became involved somehow in a joke cannibalism thread, and apparently at some point he is to be roasted and eaten. The debate thusfar is whether or not oregano is to be used. Dumpcarat himself seems indifferent, and in fact the name Dumpcarat is actually because of a way he spelled his name for his email. It had been DMP (his initials), but going along with the BBQ joke, he changed it to DMP^H^Hinner, to be read as Dinner. But people started reading it as "DMP" sounding like "dump" and the first ^, a caret, as carat.

    There are other in-jokes floating about. If you don't get it, ask. Rhodites should be kind enough to explain. I personally don't read rhod anymore, so there could be new references that I don't get.

    Undigested Oracle answers are welcome in the pub, even if you were the incarnation. If you don't understand what that means, it likely doesn't apply to you, and you can go to http://cgi.cs.indiana.edu/~oracle/index.cgi for more info.

  13. Who are these respectably dressed waitresses, and why no waiters?

    Well, KaCee is actually the only waitress, so please don't accuse her of sexism for not mentioning respectably dressed waiters, because there simply aren't any. And KaCee isn't about to don a miniskirt for anyone.

  14. Can I get a cyberjob at KaCee's?

    In the future, if business goes well and the bar gets too busy for KaCee to handle all by herself, she may consider asking someone who's been around the bar a long time to assist her. That person would have to have enough time to respond to posts, and be someone KaCee has a lot of faith in. Also, the job would pretty much have to be voluntary, since KaCee has no money. Of course, the salary in cyberdollars would be very high. KaCee is very generous with her billions of cyberdollars.

    For the moment, however, the only employee is KaCee.

  15. Troubleshooting

    Because this is a relatively small newsgroup, many systems do not have access to it, or the access is rather delayed and posts take a great deal of time to come through.

    If you enjoy visiting KaCee's Place, please don't leave just because now and then it seems dead. The posts might just not have come through to your server yet.

    If you wish to visit KaCee's Place and can't find it, try asking your newsadmin (at news@your.site) to include it. If that fails, there are many web-based free news services like Google's Groups where you can read and post.

    If you have further problems, please email KaCee. Somehow, we'll find a solution!

  16. What if my question isn't answered in this FAQ?

    KaCee had hoped to have time to keep updating this FAQ as necessary, but she's really bad at keeping it up to date. If you have a question that isn't answered, simply ask it in the bar or in email, and eventually she'll get around to putting an answer in the FAQ. You'll probably get your answer before that, though.

** If you find an error or discrepancy in this FAQ, please let KaCee know! Please note, however, that KaCee's policies regarding inappropriate posts are not up for discussion. **

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