Sound clip from this song (.wav format)
In the style of Neil Young:
He lives down by the furnace
And he makes the young kids nervous
He tells everybody to call him Tony
But he smells like oil, and his ass is bony
He's got a lot of charms
Like the prison tattoos on his arms
He cleans the bathroom and tells dirty jokes
He dresses like a woman and rolls his own smokes
He's the Janitor, Janitor
Hey there Neil, how ya doin'
Hey, not too bad.
Hey, I guess I saw you talkin' to the janitor this morning
Well, strange thing...I went in early, eh, to practice my volleyball spike in the gym and he was
buffin' the floor with that electronic, buffomatic floor waxing thing he's got, eh? ANd so I was
trying to spike, eh, and he was tryin' to buff all around me as I was tryin' to spike, and I said,
"Hey pal, I'm tryin' to concentrate, Mr. Janitor, and I wanna work on my spike." And he said, "Oh
yeah?" And he dressed up like Kate Smith and touched himself on the leg with a big wooden
spoon and then he waxed me so hard I felt the hairs givin' way on myself, and then I make a little
kind of oven mitt with what I could put back together.
How's your spike now?
I guess it would be.
Hey Neils! Neil! Neils! Neils! Neil alert!
I was talkin' to the Janitor this mornin' too, ya know.
Yeah, he took me down, he took me down behind the furnace
And he showed me that sausage collection that he's got.
I heard he only has one.
Yeah but it's real pretty.
One day I wanna be like him
Masturbating as I clean the gym
I think it must be a really nice life
Cleaning your nails with a hunting knife
Being stained yellow, the rest of your life.
Page last updated in July, 2004.
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